Market Maid

Going Too Far

Nothing repels like excess.

I did a strange thing yesterday. I bought a book in response to the most blatant excess of "relationship marketing" I've ever witnessed. I didn't buy it for the reasons I was urged to buy it--to make the author happy, the office staff dance and jump for joy, to rescue the author from disappointment, and a lot of other equally ridiculous and unimpressive (at least to me) reasons presented.

I bought it so I could see the full extent of his overkill and misuse of the relationship marketing concept. I wanted to look at the back end of the multiple "bonus" offers and surprise gifts that were promised. I wanted to know just how far the author and his helpers had gone, so I could write about it here.

No, I'm not going to say who it was or what the book's title is. I'd like to, but I don't want to hurt his sales, and if he's wrong about how far he took the concept (way, way over the top, I think) I don't want to do him any more harm than he's already done.

Some of the bombardment:

1. The run up. I subscribe to the guy's newsletter, so I've been getting updates from time to time. That's OK, no problem.

2. As release date got closer the messages became more enthusiastic and urgent.

3. Day or so before the big Amazon.com release date I got the first begging letter. Please help the author get a number one spot on Amazon. It's going to be spectacular, huge freebies, surprises, prizes, better and bigger than anyone has ever offered before...

4. Day of release, please please please help this author make it to the top. Now it's getting personal, he's begging big time, and always, he's reminding the reader that he's there to serve them. He practically licks my face. (I've never met this man, I simply subscribe to his newsletter.)

5. Another urgent message later in the day, the book is climbing, but it's not at the top, please please please help him, more florid personal begging, including:

6. If you've already bought your copy, for which he's very grateful, cold you possibly go and buy another one, maybe for a friend or family member. Or, buy a bunch, for the office, etc... And send this message to your family and friends, please.

That's not all. I also received a message from someone who is on his helper team, someone who has taken courses from him, worked with him, whatever, urging me to buy this guy's book that day.

Curious about all the emotional high pressure and overkill, I went to the book's Amazon.com listing, and found, on the day it was supposed to be released as a brand new book, over thirty reviews already in place. All except two praised it high to the sky, many looking very much like canned pre-prepared reviews and not the kind of reviews most readers would write. I happen to know the names of several people in the author's employment niche, and viola, there they were, writing reviews for their co-worker, co-associate.

Wanting to see how far he would go with this promotion, I bought the book via his site, to find out. Ordinarily, I'd have passed it by, repulsed by such obviously manipulative overdoing it. But, ye Market Maid thought, in the spirit of research for this blog, she'd better go ahead and buy a copy. It might even be worth the price. It's possible. Just because the book shamefully promoted doesn't mean it is useless. We'll see.

Meanwhile, I clicked on the link to take me to my grand and glorious, multi thousand dollar free opportunity perks received for having bought the thing. There was a contest, for which I'll supposedly have several chances to win stuff the author has negotiated to get access to, likely in exchange for the promotional value to the provider of said stuff.

And, in the rules and disclaimers note, I found that one must enter the contest via FAX or email. But, I didn't see a fax or email link there to use. Was this an error, and it only means that if I am notified that I'm a winner I must respond via email or FAX, as stated elsewhere? Or, is this the piece that makes no one the winner, or only those who manage to locate an obscure email link somewhere and enquire about it?

Are there strings on all the "prizes" that will make them not worth the trouble for most winners? I'm curious about that, partly because there are strings on many of the surprise bonus freebies that were presented next as yet another great abundance of goodies coming to me as a buyer.

After entering my data for the prize possibilities I went to the bonuses page and found a long string of links to free things I could access. It was the usual over priced, over valued batch of things one finds in the usual Amazon.com book marketing scramble for the top on the day of official release.

I checked them all out. I think there were three among them that I actually downloaded. Most of the offerings were simply ways to harvest some email addresses and names for the free report providers' future marketing efforts. And, they made the recipient jump through hoops to get the freebie. Some simply wanted my name and email address so they could send me marketing stuff until I told them not to. Others wanted more information. Some required me to sign up for their newsletter. I passed them all by.

But, there were three savvy people making free offerings there. They offered downloadable ebooks without any strings attached, nada, zilch. No strings, no hoops. I downloaded them, opened them up,  deleted one because I thought it was mostly cheerful drivel, kept two. One of those looks promising.

The promising one has real content, useful content, not hype. And, the author of that ebook is smart enough to know that if he has a clickable link in his ebook to his site that the satisfied reader will click it. I suspect he will also not beg me to buy his products to make his day, keep him from emotional meltdown, or from kicking his dog.

One Banana Sites

In case you don't know, a "one banana" site is a one page sales/marketing web site. It has a looooong spiel, testimonials, offers, more spiel, more testimonials, benefits, offers, and so on, and so on. I've learned to hate them. Not all of them just most of them. Like real bananas there are good ones and bad ones. Some are good to eat, some to sample and toss, and some not worth peeling.

Why the one banana site?

Someone, or several someones did research, or not, and claimed that it shows long one banana sites  work. When I complain about those eternally scrolling sites with the bad used car salesman flavor I'm usually told, "Oh, yes, they can be irritating, but they work!" Maybe.

The Best Banana

I know that some do work, or at least one does. I've only found one among all the abundant banana bunch that I thought really good, good to the last bite, good to the last little bananaish crumb. That is the StopYourDivorce.com site. It's so good I like to go there and hang out, read it again, try to detect all the nuances in its tasty goodness. I study it to find out how it was done.

The brain behind that site is evidently Dean Jackson, who, I'm told by those who know him well, wrote every word of it, and that it is the masterpiece of marketing wizardry I thought I had discovered when I first read it.

If you insist on bananas, please learn from the best, apply what you learn, and keep tweaking your banana to improve it. Otherwise, serve different marketing fruit.

The Down Side of Relationship Marketing

You know what "relationship marketing" is, it's building a personal connection with your customers and potential customers, being approachable, using friendly language, open, fair minded and generous.

It's pleasant to do, to be friendly, the common man/woman among one's peers. People want to buy from you because they trust you. Building a relationship with people helps them want to trust you. We prefer tried and true standard brands because we've learned to trust them.

But, beware. If you build a relationship, make sure it's based on genuine caring, real friendliness, and actual trustworthiness. Don't mess with people's trust and goodwill. A disillusioned relationship marketed customer is not going to come back, they are going to go forward to share their disappointment with others. Better not to woo, than to woo and jilt or betray.

I've been wooed and disappointed. It doesn't feel good, and they've not only lost my business, my referrals and recommendations, but also a place at my affiliate table.

MarketMaid's:

Relationship Marketing Top Ten Rules

1. If you don't mean it, don't say it.
2. Not everyone is your real and true friend, don't pretend they are.
3. Not everyone is going to be a favorite, don't imply they can be.
4. Don't offer "empty benefits," you know, the freebies that are actually pretty worthless.
5. If you say you'll do it. Do it. If you can't, then apologize quickly.
6. Don't ask for favors.
7. Don't hint for favors.
8. Be real, be yourself,
9. Be only as generous as you feel like being.
10. Always, always, always say thank you.

Tell A Better Story

Ever notice how commercials on the TV newscasts are almost all misery related? They are using the bad stories to sell misery remedies. It's easy to assume, when we're told to sell the benefits of our products and services instead of trying to sell our services that somehow we need to present the problems first.

But, we don't need to do that. We can go straight to the benefits. We can start right out telling a good story, one with a happy beginning, middle and ending. The reason buyers love testimonials is that testimonials tell good stories. We're happy for the ones who are happy and it gives us reason to believe we can be happy too.

The difference between your marketing and the next person's can be simple and effective. Make sure you tell a better story.

Be Careful Who and What Guests On Your Blog

Today I removed a popular and very useful and appreciated marketing blog from its former place as my default browser opening page. I was so totally turned off and repulsed by a guest post on the blog and the photo that accompanied it that I can't bear to visit the site again until that post is far down or, preferably, completely off the front page.

The post was off topic, personal, repulsive, and only marginally connected in any way to the supposed subject of the blog. The photo was a distorted close-up of the guest author, looking very much like the heartless perpetrator of the physically abusive subject of the post.

I'm not going to say whose blog it is, because I've never seen anything as rank on there before and I like the person who owns it. They have always been gracious, generous, and considerate since I started reading it. But, when the owner was away, or taken with a fit of complete idiocy, a way, way, way inappropriate post found its way there, by a guest author.

The Maid's advice:

1. Do not allow posts on your blog that you haven't seen or do not fit your style and standards.

2. And, if by some surprising occurrence of bad taste in a regular and trusted guest author, an inappropriate post does get there, get it off, pronto.

Yuk. Changed my impression of the site and owner, made me re-think the whole site's value to me.

Purpose Driven Marketing 1

The Rick Warren Purpose Driven Life book phenomenon (the best selling book of all time) is so noteworthy that I'm betting it will have enduring interest and provide continuing marketing knowhow to astute observers. So I'm giving it a category of its own here on Market Maid's table.

I'll kick off the category listings with a link to an essential article on Rick Warren's marketing savvy by the publisher of Forbes Magazine,  Rich Karlgaard. The article, titled  "Purpose Driven" focuses on the marketing lessons Karlgaard harvested from Warren's other well known book, The Purpose Driven Church. They include:

• Don't try to make your business grow. Instead, work to make your business healthy. Because if it's healthy, it will grow.

• Don't be afraid to make it up as you go along.

• Don't trap yourself in costly infrastructure.

• Don't compete for market share. Instead, compete with nonconsumption.

• Sell big!

• Faith and dedication won't overcome lack of skill and technology.

• Borrow from others' successes.

• Never enter a new business without first picking someone to lead it.

• Purpose not only defines what your business should do, it defines what it shouldn't do.

• Nothing should precede the purpose of your business.

About Market Maid

Hello, Pat Gundry here. Market Maid picks the best of the marketing blogs, sites, books and other media, checks them for goodies, and serves them up here for you. No need to do it yourself when the Maid will do it for you.